They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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