so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
