No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
