think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
