The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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