you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
