Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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