What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
