I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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