Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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