Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize