how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He better not be in your backpack
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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