hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
