just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
