It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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