Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize