I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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