I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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