hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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