you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I see more hoeing in ur future
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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