Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
