You made me cry and you don't even care
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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