You really coming over, don't trick.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
