I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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