Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
