I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
