He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
