I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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