he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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