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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  not a thing

  (613): View more from Ontario

  walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

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• (925): View more from California

  I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car

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• (904): View more from Florida

  would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I feel like I have a very capable uterus.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.

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