i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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