belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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