Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
