I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
