please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize