I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
