I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
