she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
