He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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