if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
