So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to wash the frat house off of me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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