Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
