She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I will be naked everywhere
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
