More tranny stories later!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
