More tranny stories later!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize