three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
