Pappa wants mamma naked
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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