i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
