I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize