Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
