i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
