Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
