"it" just moved
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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