I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's the barista slut.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
