i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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