well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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