I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
look no pants
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
