i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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