I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
