i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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