I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
